Where have all the teaspoons gone?

[PAULM03]

Taken from newscientist. I've often wondered this myself

SEVERAL readers, among them Jenney Shepherd, Caroline Hauxwell and Jackie Leung, have alerted us to an intriguing paper in the British Medical Journal, "The case of the disappearing teaspoons" by Megan S. CLim, Margaret E. Hellard and Campbell K. Aitken of the Institute for Medical Research and Public Health, Melbourne, Australia (http://bmj.bmjjournals.com/cgi/reprint/331/7531/1498). This sets out to answer the age old question "Where have all the bloody teaspoons gone?" using a classic release-and-capture methodology.
The half-life of the 70 teaspoons studied in the institute's tearooms was 81 days, with 56 (80 per cent) disappearing during the five-month study. This led to the alarming conclusion that "an estimated 18 million teaspoons are going missing in Melbourne each year. Laid end to end, these lost teaspoons would cover over 2700 kilometres - the length of the entire coastline of Mozambique - and weigh over 360 metric tonnes - the approximate weight of four adult blue whales."
The authors say that "no plausible explanations were advanced for the high rate of teaspoon loss", though they did note the theory of Douglas Adams et al that Somewhere Out There is a teaspoon planet to which they repair.

However, while engaged in some essential stochastic blue-sky research (otherwise known as idly surfing on company time) Feedback came across a discussion of possible mechanisms on the www.urban75.com bulletin boards. This confirms, anecdotally, that the phenomenon is as common in domestic South London as it is in labs in Melbourne. By far the most popular explanation on the site was "house faeries", though we rather like the proposals that "odd socks are seducing the spoons with stories of The Life That's Waiting Outside" and the more materialist "there's a bloke down East Street market that sells 'em on".
One contributor insists: "It is well known that teaspoons and Biros are alternate manifestations of the same underlying quantum object. Proof: when you attempt to observe one, all you see is the other. Obviously, there's a reflection of the fundamental asymmetry of the universe here too, because you can stir your tea with a Biro."

[aliando]

they probably all get chucked out with yoghurt pots and tea bags or end up in the waste disposal - they do in my works.