Twenty ways to retain your sanity

[Cassius Marcellus]

1. At lunchtime, wear a yellow flourescent jacket and sit in your parked car pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom, but don't disguise your voice

3. Develop a phobia about staplers

4. Put 'decaf' in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their addiction, fill it with the proper stuff.

5. Reply to everything someone says with, 'That's what you think.'

6. Finish all your sentences with 'In accordance with the prophecy.'

7. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it that way.

8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk

9. Ask people what sex they are

10. Sing along at the opera

11. Find out where your boss buys his clothes and get exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does, even if they're the opposite sex .

12. Send e-mails to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing e.g "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bog.'

13. Put mosquito netting around your workstation

14. Call the psychic hotline and say 'Guess'

15. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

16. When the money comes out of the ATM, shout 'I Won. I Won. Third time this week."

17. When leaving the Zoo, runtowards the car park, shouting "Run for your lives, the lions are loose!"

18. Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, its the voices in yours."

19. Tell your children while eating dinner 'Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go'

20. E-mail this to all your friends, then tomorrow, send it again.

[DJ]

Another one... Start highlighting stuff on your pc monitor using a real highlight pen